Apocalypse · Don M. Green

Apocalypse

The Poetry of Don M. Green

A digital reimagining of the manuscript as a journey from enclosure to release: black pages, white words, the boxed self, the breaking, and the bright beginning on the other side.

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Apocalypse cover art

Dedication

For those who still believe that endings can become openings, that ruins can become thresholds, and that the self can be remade.

Introduction

These poems were written by a younger version of me more than twenty years ago. I wrote from hunger, wonder, heartbreak, confusion, faith, and becoming. In revisiting them, I wanted to honor their raw truth while giving them clearer breath, sharper language, cleaner rhythm, and a truer order.

This collection moves like a life: from awakening, to desire, to unraveling, to revelation. It is a book about endings, yes, but also about the quiet beginning hidden inside every ending.

Interior spread preview
I

I. Before the Breaking

The soul arrives. The self wakes up inside the box.

I. Before the BreakingPage source 5–6

Anything

I could have been anyone or anything
I could have chosen in place or anytime
As I drift amongst the cosmos,
The great consciousness, the One,
Yearning for a physical form
Needing to complete my knowing
To experience a life as you.
Seeing the world through your eyes
Feeling other emotions besides love,
Knowing that I am love,
Love longing to feel.
If you took a consciousness, and compressed
It into a life, a being is formed.
A human being.
Make them forget, and they become lost
For what you see, isn’t what is
What you think is.
What you believe to be true.... is
Your good and bad thoughts
Are waiting to be manifested
Speak your blessings,
Know your blessings
And be blessed.
You never had to look into the cosmos
To find me. for the universe lives
Inside of you. and you ARE

I. Before the BreakingPage source 7

Situations Can Always Be Worse

Just the fact that we survived all of yesterdays troubles.
Able to live and to grow,
To increase and not fall prey to the limits set by man.....
For our imaginations are not big enough
To imagine what God has planned for our lives
And in that we can find our joy.

I. Before the BreakingPage source 10

Ascension

I rose from a single thought
One day discovering that I am.
Empty space, floating with no name
No eyes but seeing clearly
No ears but everything heard
No dreams for I am awakened
My thoughts creating existence
With a few little words
I am, and you are
I want.... and it was
No consciousness lives in loneliness
No thoughts go unheard
You are what you believe
You are far greater than words
Your limits are without limits
Your mind will set you free
Knowing of your existence
From a single thought, a single dream.

I. Before the BreakingPage source 11–12

Third Eye

So how does one learn to touch,
Taking an ever present being
And stuffing it into a frail body
Flesh and bones,
Skin… teeth. ears... eyes... nose
All doing their best to feel
To see, to hear the world
That lies outside.
Questioning truths, dreaming realities
Blooming flowers, and ah ha moments
While everything starts to make sense
Blurrier pictures gain a sharpness
Knives cut with the tongue
The sum of one is many
Multitudes of those that have forgotten
Seeking dream trips
Placing bets and making reservations
To be in existence, in this moment
This hour,
Sec,
Min.
To experience
NOW
Knowing that dreams will dream tomorrow
Mind expansions,
Realities realized
Earth reborn in day,
The sun hiding it face
While those in darkness,
Realize their light

I. Before the BreakingPage source 13

Identity

Who are you… from a microscope I see, atoms,
And protons, neutrons, dancing, in a ball of emptiness
Miniature black holes, hold the soul
And before I can conjure a thought, we blink in an out of
Existence
Like the flicker of film, projecting light
Each thought creates tomorrow,
Special for us cused tom made.
The riches you think are the riches you're given
The lack you thought, is tomorrow poverty
For God dwells in the places unseen by physical eyes
God dwells in the spaces. that lies on the inside
Waiting for us to find Him.
The irony of hiding in the last place we seem to look
Tag - you’re it

I. Before the BreakingPage source 21–23

Countdown To...

I decided to take a moment to get you
Caught up to speed, on what I heard,
Not what I believe
Two hundred and eighteen days left
Then Kaboom this old world toasted
Like smores over a campfire
Well so I've seen on TV.
Just maybe Jesus will come back
On a space ship, with disciples of
Lil green men, well not exactly green
And well not exactly Jesus.
Maybe planet X, decide to give earth a kiss
Or comet to get to close, and take a hit
Maybe the pleiadians, will decide to show their face
Or maybe he world will have an reptilian race.
Maybe there will be a majority, short and grey
Maybe we'll be food, ripened for eating, or pets for play.
Maybe he earth will decided to flip on its ass
And show solar system a dance move or two
Or maybe a spiritual awakening for humanity
An ascension to a higher dimension
Hmm sounds like death to me
Besides, who needs a 5th when I’m doing well in the 3rd.
Or maybe nothing
Some question the Mayans, and say
"if they knew so much, why no mayans today"
I say, they were intelligent enough,
To know the details of the cosmos
The sun and even mars, they calculated
The alignment our solar system with distance stars
The were wise enough, to etch it forever in stone
They were smart enough to pass the information along
26000 years comes to a close
Front row tickets to a grand ole show
What will happen, soon we will know
If nothing happens, something still happened
We won't believe the Mayans no mo'
I'm gonna, miss this 26000 and a year old soul
Or I'm gonna have it of for another long count cycle
26 lifetimes, seperated by a thousand years,
Dang I'm getting old. all this information
So little time. or maybe a lot of time...
Who knows … the bibles says nobody knows
The day or the hour, but the before the bible was written
Mayans seemed sure about December 21 2012 11:11
Universal Time
So if anything I heard was true, what would you do
How would you spend you last? who would you be with?
What confession you would make?
I decided to take a moment to get you
Caught up to speed, on what I heard,
Not what I believe
To be continued…. or not

I. Before the BreakingPage source 75

What Do We Really Know For Sure?

As we discover things that God already knows
And we call ourselves clever in the process
A lifetime of labeling, and a tree doesn’t
Know that it's a tree.
But are any of us what we are called?

I. Before the BreakingPage source 81

From Our Eyes

From our ears we here from 12hz to 20khz
With our tongues we can taste 4 tastes, Bitter, Sweet,
Salty and Sour
Our noses can smell 10,000 different smells
There are limits to what we as human can do
In a existence that is unlimited.
We only experience 5 aspects
Of an unlimited world, and have the nerve
To say that we "know".
We only know what we can know
Based on current limitations of this human body
But in within our mind
The infinite everything…. is but a grain of sand,
Existing in the now

I. Before the BreakingPage source 86–87

Random Stream of Consciousness

UFOs, Big Foot, and Ghosts are Real,
Though I have never seen any of them,
God dwells in every atom of our bodies
We all are God’s sons and Daughters.
As humans we are capable of doing anything
Another human has done, we have no limits
Our thoughts control our perception of things
Everything can work for the good.
God is honored by our creativity,
To create is to worship God in Truth. You praise God
Through emulating what he has done. created
Give honor to what you create,
And know that it was God’s hand that guided you.
There is no death, so I'm not afraid of dying
Just afraid of losing all my earthly memories .
All humans are connected rather you know it or not,
All our fates are link together.
Our purpose to live a good life, to learn and to create
Make the world a better place than you found it.
The human body isn't made to eat meat
Or drink cow's milk. though we do.
Nothing new can be created without
Something old being destroyed.
You can find God in a grain of sand
And the emptiness of space.
It is not a coincidence that our tears are as salty as the sea.
The idea of good and bad rests on the same coin.
...

II

II. The Human Heart

Love enters - tender, dangerous, hungry, holy.

II. The Human HeartPage source 8

Love: Nectar

Love
So sweet the nectar
Until the juice spoils
Hold love close, watch it become intoxicating
Hold love loose, watch it become toxic
Closed lips and hidden secrets.
Regrets, and greener grass
That didn't reveal its one-sided nature
Until I stood in it's fall.
Falling prey, to lying lips
And
Hips that sway in the wind
Red lipstick, titties pushed up tight
And she slowly utters someone else’s name
Damn - these flashbacks of loves that never was,
As I look inside of myself and watch
As the light thickens into a something creamy
My
Thoughts find delight in the sweet
.... thoughts

II. The Human HeartPage source 9

Friendship

Seasonal, moments as two souls find one another
One thinks the other clever
Nobody wants to be the fool.
Hey, how are you doing, when in need
Thoughts lost in tomorrow
Tell friends what to believe, about...you
Faithful friend, that seldom seen
Wanting to be your everything
When you become everything to everybody
Playing the role of absent
When needed, maybe the fool
Convincing yourself that you’re needed
With the thoughts of old shoes.
Used and pushed aside.
Worn and placed in the closet
No box… or special treatment
Just there…. in the stack
With all your old best friends

II. The Human HeartPage source 25–26

Longing

You make my heart beat faster in your presence
Your skin, eyes, nose, mouth and subtle smirks
Takes me places that far beyond the realm of friends
In my mind, I think of growing old together,
A Big house, garden, horses, and life of two in love
Laying in bed, knowing that there's nothing in the world
You can't protect me from
As we become one another’s most beautiful thing.
A fulfillment of a love longed for.
A love that took years of broken hearts
To pin point exactly what it is, that I love
About love, that I love about loving you
Took years of thrusting finding spots,
And positioning myself for love comfort
To get my body just right for you.
The lessons we learn through sex.
I applaud all my teachers.
And those that gave me fake names
I'm thankful for the nights alone in my bed
Laying by the window, staring at the moon.
Knowing that you are somewhere in existence
Doing the very same thing.
Mutual longing to be with the one you destined for
Love gravitating toward love
And we drift in a sea of empty hearts
And play dumb, for those who don’t understand

Our first kiss,will bring chills
Our first touch, united us
And thoughts play together
While our dreams find comfort in our reality
Being with the one longed for.

II. The Human HeartPage source 28–29

I Opened My Heart

And the butterflies drifted away
The sun began to shine,
And my nights turned to day
My dreams crept into reality
Tall, dark, dreads, body for the gods
I think as I flip through the magazine
Filled with unrealistic men.
And chat, via Facebook
Maybe this is the introduction I need
Maybe this is a way to fill a need
To love, to want to love, to be loved
By those unseen, but alive in my dreams
I wonder how many atoms it takes to make love
To manufacture the idea, and plant it into
My consciousness. while my unconsciousness
Sings the blues….
And Reds, and Greens, and all the colors of the rainbow
In this different type of love
In love with someone real, but I'm not able to touch
In love with words, but not hearing a voice
Yeah… I'm in love with such and such
The one that loved me back.
And that's all it took
.... I fell in love with myself
Well not exactly but, the one that was made for me
Fitting together like a puzzle
That has been gathering dust.
Waiting for two to take the time to solve it.
And the world revolves

II. The Human HeartPage source 31

Love, Man’s Addiction

Love
Love, man's addiction, and secret necter that goes
Through one's veins that says.... it's okay to be a fool.
And love... is also God

II. The Human HeartPage source 32–33

Where Can You Find Love?

When the world let's you down
You lost and alone
And no one can be found
Drifting on a hope and fears
Of the life that is to come
Shoes have been worn down
No more you want to run
Just stand still
It's hard to explain it
I just can't find the words
My mind and heart tried it
But my mouth cannot serve
To express, to show
What I feel right now, you know
That everything will work
According to His plan
I used to stress out…
I couldn't eat or sleep
Knowing that I was alone
It thought nobody loved me
I looked in the mirror
Didn't like what I see,
I felt like I was hopeless,
I was blind and couldn't see.
Then one day I got down on my knees
I said Lord help me please
I couldn't take it no more
The world was killing me.
And the Lord said
It's already done
You were too busy
In your own pity
To realize the clouds have cleared
You cry, when you say you trusted me
I promised. I’d never leave
But you went away from me
You tried the world on your terms
I've been here, waiting for you fall on your knees
And to notice me
Just know it's already done.

II. The Human HeartPage source 36

He Walks in Confidence

Assured of the snake
That dwells beneath
Borders in the realm of the unseen
Subtle dreams and fantasies
He wears wrinkled clothes
Shirt and pants to match
Not seeking to impress
But living an existence
That doesn't require an iron
This daydreamer
Stands confident in the reality
Of knowing that In time
The right one, for him be there
In time, the moment he long for
As two people share. … love
And snake charmers
Move on to bigger and better
Meaningless things
The wrinkles find the steam

II. The Human HeartPage source 42–45

In This Moment

I never said "I Love you" to loud
Didn't want my heart to get carried away
I never had a reason to fall,
For someone so beautiful to me….
And baby with just your smile
You take my heart away
To a different place
To outer space
Sailing beyond the milky way
Deep in the space
I stood alone, in the dark
Passing time, when there was no time
A thought in floating in gravity
Monumental bliss
Playing with the dust in my hand
Hoping to understand
The reason why I'm here
Nobodies here
I threw the stars into places
I flung the planets around the sun
And from the dark
That was small spark of sight
My love brought company
My love created life
Every time I fall in love, it falls apart
Every time I say I love they walk away
I don't know if I want to fall in love again
I don’t know how much of the pain my heart can take
Part of me say … let go and love
Part of me says. don't you ever forget
What love did to you, started fast ended quick
Part of me says… I ready now
Part of me sayss. no you ain't
I'm confused right now
I don't know what to think
The many parts of my heart
Got me, spinning round
Going half crazy because I miss my baby
But they don't want me around
My heart says
Can you make me feel something more than loneliness?

II. The Human HeartPage source 46

The Magic Between Here and There

I try to find the magic … lurking in the atmosphere,
Somewhere between here and there. between current
And past lives. between god particles and milky ways. I
Long for sometime that love hasn't invented yet. a new
Type of love. I lay in the warmth. of alone, somewhere
In space. 3rd rock from the sun… I'm feeling love right
Now… something like it. has me in a trance of romance.
If you walk up to me, and grab my hand…ask me my
Name. slow slowy look me in my eyes, and say… I
Found you. to feel you hand against my face. I
Remember how much I loved love. forgotten feeling
Flood my brain. I think I'm going insane. of just falling
For you.

II. The Human HeartPage source 47

If I Fell Into Your Flow

And drifted in the zone
Of pyramid bliss
Laying quietly,
Slow breaths
Deep thoughts
Seeding tears
Memories of loves
That never happen
While you sing,
Reminding me of loves possibility
Beyond, destroying hearts
Old systems fall
New loves found
I feel the beat
And smile
I didn't take much
Just being there
I don't require much
Only real love
….
I'm dreaming on distant comet
Hoping that orbits meet

II. The Human HeartPage source 48–49

For a Momentary Kiss

I never thought that someone would find me
Someone that knows how to love me
In delicate ways, and strong enough
To put up with my bullshit
My fears found no ground
Standing the heartbreak of others
While thinking I was loving enough
To have a lover
That one I dream of, found love
Left me standing alone
Never loved me
I the object of their curiosity
Was never curious about breaking up homes
Hopelessly standing in the wings
While they play house,

II. The Human HeartPage source 51

Right Now I’m Laying Here

Feeling some type of way
Lips throbbing.
Vacant spaces begin to race
In silence you are my air
I feel you around my body,
Dancing across my skin
I breath you…
Submerged in a feeling
Of broken heart’s kiss
I nearly drown in love that
I thought I never missed
I breathe you
You are everything I didn't know I needed
Until you found me and told me
Now I'm hooked on you.
Right now I'm laying here
Feeling some type of way
Lips throbbing.
Vacant spaces begin to race

II. The Human HeartPage source 52

Watcher of the Moon

Traded gazes, private kisses
Public faces
We met the day before time
In a space of sublime
Kisses, toasted words
Emptied seeds, and wet smile
Dreamy tales in surreal style
Clouded judgment
Pouring lies
13 steps to the eye
Runaway child
Papers thin, golden high
Grass greener, then it died
One divided, one left to cry
Private kisses
Open mind’s hesitation.

II. The Human HeartPage source 54

A Slow Country Love

I never desired a fancy love
One wrapped in blue box and bow
A slow country love,
Filled with honest kisses
An "I love you"
That really means, I love you.
Instead of I love what you do for me
A slow cooked love.
Flavors merging as one
People salivating to have a taste
Wondering what is in the secret sauce
A home that can't deny your presence
Welcome mat, that means welcome
And thoughts of bliss,
As you get lost in that southern kiss
Maple brown lips, honey blossom skin
Eyes that tell the story of lost
Sentiment.
Overripe fruit, love abundance wasted
On past thoughts, and spoken lies
And real feeling that were denied
By a questionable love that's no historically sound.
And your heart rejoices for the love you you have
Currently found
That unwrapped, country slow love.

II. The Human HeartPage source 80

How Far We Come

The separated same
Love is as love is
Home feelings on distant trips
Tender morsel on hungry lips
Wilted flower that begins to grow
From the flowing love
The love we know
Complicated same
With simple faces
Large egos in little spaces
Warm welcome… again
Remembering without time

II. The Human HeartPage source 83–84

I Want to Write Love Poems Again

The kind you recite to a lover
In dim light... audience of an easy smile.
Pearly teeth, and gaze that means forever.
Mind connecting as the words
Slowly flow from my thoughts to paper
Then recited when love calls
Or at least the idea of such, endangered things
To have words that allow you to escape
On a private trip for two in a world
Designed by the imagination
God's manifested creativity being creative.
Let there be love…. and there was love
Hoping that the same love you feel
Is shared by the object of your affection
And your words aren't lost
The smile speaks volumes
Without saying a word
Emotions not misplaced
Feelings aren’t premature
Moment isn't forced
Just two
Hoping
Longing for love poems
From a person …. that knows what love is.

II. The Human HeartPage source 89

Bloop

If I'm swallowed by the ocean
Allow me to return with gills
If I'm tempted by a worm
Then I'll end up the meal
Whatever it takes, to be with you again
To feel you lips against my flesh
To be the energy that supports you
Even though in past lives
You treated me like leftovers
Waiting to be discarded
After you have taken a bite
And decided that it wasn't to your liking
One human’s yuck, is another's yum
And I dream on.
Sampling a sushI platter
….with a side of wasabi.

II. The Human HeartPage source 90

Stone

One dream about you wasn't enough
Thoughts of you decided to invade my reality to flow
Through me as poetry
… … or some lame words from someone
Who may be a little out of touch.
Eccentrically sitting, rolling over
In the essence of me.
.... …. indeed someone may be intrigued
By thoughts written by a ghost in a machine. solid
Indeed like diamonds,
Little voice whispered words
That dwell in the temple, by they gray
Retrospective thoughts of the nows that have past.
Stumbling into the future.
With a quiet smirk I say…
What is LOVE?

II. The Human HeartPage source 95

I Wonder If Trees

Yearn for the wind
Like my skin yearns for a touch?
Both standing tall, erect
While the anchored in the ground …
Surfaces that speak of my journey
And rings that tell no lies
I and trees are a lot alike
Waiting in the breeze.

III

III. Wounds and Mirrors

The old self meets its bruises and tells the truth.

III. Wounds and MirrorsPage source 16–19

Simple Truths

It breaks my heart
And ends relationships when
The other doesn't comply
Give me what I need
And I'll gave you want you want
Feed my addiction… to love.
My temptation is is flavored by warm kisses
And unsure goodbyes, great big smiles and furtive sighs
As I pack my things, my life in brown boxes, my stuff
Placed in storage until success find me.
Now I'm free, streamlined for success,
Dressed to impress, too blessed to be stressed
As I return to a place called home
A big fish, entering into a small pond
Clouded by small dreams, and slave mentalities
As I shine to the world around
One good thought at a time.
Not afraid to speak my mind, or verbalize in on paper
Not afraid to be mobile to flow across the nation
I'm floating to place called freedom.
Where I go, freedom goes as well
To a freedom that nobody know quite as well. as I
A freedom that will allow to me to touch the sky.
I yelled at the universe... and it told me to lower my
Voice
I whispered of my hurt
And it told me to rejoice.
I smile and said one day I will frown
And I frowned the universe sent a clown
Was poor and the universe made me rich.
I was angry, and I became an angry bitch,
The universe watched and allowed me take the lead.
I wanted more, the universe watched my greed.
And when I had everything there was still a need,
The universe was full of possibilities
But was so damn empty.
And spoke to universe.
And it spoke back to me
I got tired of hating
The universe said love,
I got tired of ending relationships
The universe said start over again
I got tired of being alone
And the universe sent some friends
I don't know the nature of universe,
Or how it works for that matter
I just know I trust it and life has gotten better
So … I listen, and watch and go with the flow
And in the midst of if all, the universe made me....

III. Wounds and MirrorsPage source 27

A Different Kind of Something

I must admit that I didn't expect love to be like this
I had dreams of something similar but not quite this
I never imagined me standing front of the mirror
In love…. with a black eye. from the black guy that I
Love
It was his anger, I the fool pushed his buttons
I the fool, thought I had something when it was nothing
Just me, lost in a fantasy, falling in love with someone
Incomplete
Looking for them to complete me
I wait. standing still waiting for the other eye to blacken
By the guy I love, so I can having a matching set
It's must be the sex, he beats it up…. and my face

III. Wounds and MirrorsPage source 41

Beneath the Smile

Lies the remnants of sadness
That just won't go away
The constant longing
While smiling
Saying that everything is ok
And you wonder why you lie about your feelings
And if you how you feel really matters
My well being won't affect the food on you table
Nor the roof over your head… I sit
I think…. There's a pill for that
I think I need to double my dosage
For a loneliness is lingers around
Plotting ways to take root
Whether in photographs of lovers
Or sad song on the radio
Empty bed at night
Artificial lovers on a tv show
It lingers
And I write
Thinking that God perfection in creating me
Isn't perfect enough
Feeling that God’s hand in touching me
...…. is all I need

III. Wounds and MirrorsPage source 37–38

Running in Circles

In a loop of keeping it real
While everything that is real
Falls like sand escaping your tight grasp
Your reality questionable,
Nobody understands you
Or sees things your way
Every relationship ended with
A new enemy.
As you dissect your mind
And attempt to discover
What is wrong with them
Why they couldn't bend to your desires
Why they couldn't stop their worlds
To spin your world a little faster
Why they had to have friends
And relatives that loved them
But despised you.
You sit tapping your fingers
In a rythum-less beat.
And you get mad when they say…. "You can't dance"
The world will never understands you
And all your relationships will end in enemies
Until…. you get over you.

III. Wounds and MirrorsPage source 50

However

When good sex becomes rare
Loneliness becomes your friend,
The right hand of masturbation
Becomes your key to release
Its not about the sex
Or the fact that he has his hand
On my thigh. its about my hand
On my mind and my inability to
Be patient
Whenever
Slow strokes of the ego
Gentle artificial kiss
Nameless conversation
And truthful lies
It's not about sex
Or the fact that love has it’s hand
It's about love’s lips
On my mind…. pulling triggers
Bang bang.

III. Wounds and MirrorsPage source 53

How Many Licks?

Velvet black skin
Eyes that speak of waking nights
Shattered youths and duck faces
And invitations to tell a friend to tell a friend
Of the midnight cowboy
Swallowing horses whole
While babies are lost in the hollows
Video taped faces, of the best link
Ever conquered, 10inches without a gag reflex
Scripted routines of making swords disappear
And when acorns are served
The cowboy disappears into the night
As quickly as I came

III. Wounds and MirrorsPage source 55

She So Wrapped in Her Feelings

Wonder if he notices,
She went the extra mile
Expensive make-up, human hair
Her face dusted cinnamon brown
Lips rouge like cherries round
And she hopes that he notices
A dress to make him breathless
While she holds her breath
A thousand roses, sacrificed for the smell
She bathes in spring, hoping for a ring
In the summer time. if he notices
Doe eyes sparkle
Bruised skin covered
She falls into his fist too often
Family talking and staging interventions
She quiet and never mentions
The lies from swollen lips
That longed for a kiss
And a secret she hopes
They never notice

III. Wounds and MirrorsPage source 56

U Can’t Marry

It's unnatural and a
Abomination
To women, and to men
God must be turning
In his grave
And we endure this gay
Parade of to people in love
Showing it.
How dare they ask for rights
How dare they ask to be treated equal
How dare they claim to be spiritual beings
When their souls are going to hell
If god wanted sissies
He wouldn't have made pussies
And that's the truth I tell
Nasty heathenistic ways
Ain't no dikes in heaven
Sissies are calling for the grave
They should get the dicks
Out of their mouths and be like me
A Christian holy righteous and saved

III. Wounds and MirrorsPage source 69

The Secret Behind Clouded Eyes

I wonder what secret lie
Behind clouded eyes
And overloaded knees
Things mothers do
To meet the family needs
And… nobody talks about it

III. Wounds and MirrorsPage source 73–74

I Fell in Love with Love

I feel in love with love
Beautiful and kind
Two spirits drifting
In space and in time
All of me said yes
But the world said no
It's not okay to love love
That love had to go
I sat quietly,
Dying inside silently
Because my love
Was illegal, too beautiful for this world
I didn't ask for permission
My heart made the the decision
But my love wasn't approved by the saints in the
Church.
Hustler preachers sitting pretty hoes
I whispered to love let's get married
The world yelled, back hell no
I sent smoke signals from my heart
Letting love know where to go
The wind chased me swiftly
I don't want to be alone
But the world says..
I don't have the right to love.
Love Hello, Hello love… I miss you.

III. Wounds and MirrorsPage source 76

You’ve Been Running

You been running most of your life
Trying to escape the pain
Secret loves and a lies
Nothing to really gain
You are hoping that one day
You will be what happiness describes
Ocean full of tears
Waterfall from the eyes
A love thought
On a full moon, in a quiet room
I can't imagine what magic feels like
As I slowly disappear,
Foggy moments seen clearly,
Clear thoughts unseen
Momentary bliss, long for love
Maybe just a kiss.

III. Wounds and MirrorsPage source 77

Young Beautiful

Yellowbone, 17
Country girl with big city dreams
Pale skinned naivety
Hiding from the sun.
Magic momentary mystery
Unseen futures, bitter past
Honey blond wig, fishnet stockings
And a man, that found an occupation
Managing country girl, footsteps
On cold blocks, and hot pants
Legally bound, marriage license
And pimps permission slip
To rent out his property

III. Wounds and MirrorsPage source 85

Where Did Today Go?

Lost in the maze of thoughts about yesterday
All those things that you can't change
Mind sets adrift down canals
That have long dried.
While you pray for rain
To revive your yesterdays
The world moves forward.
You can't find rest
In the temple, thoughts set on repeat
Insomnia is your best friend
You fallen in love with something
That does not exist… Your past.

III. Wounds and MirrorsPage source 93–94

3:33

There I go stumbling over my feet again
The curb towers over me
When I get comfortable in my new low
You’re ugly,
Fat,
And never gonna amount to anything.
And I say… I know... I know
Nobody wants to be around you
You’re not fit to live
And I say... I know…. I know
Those on the outside
Believe you to be fit to be king
Confident, standing tall with pride
Unfortunately to you
Everything they say is lies
From childhood you learned
That the only words that are true
… are the ones you tell yourself
I'm fat
I'm ugly
And I'm never gonna amount to anything
So true… so true.

III. Wounds and MirrorsPage source 91

She Lay There

That's just like empty
Life's winter takes a hold or her idea of love
That went from smoldering fire to ash.
Dormant volcanoes, fallen pyramids
In a valley that used to be filled with trees
Now… she's left with, broken branches
And constant supply of Batteries
And memories of old fires
Winter's night longing for heat.
However the volcano sleeps
And she lays, in full bed
That just like empty

III. Wounds and MirrorsPage source 92

He Sits Quietly

The joy and laughter
His wife has found in another man.
Bowing to his will
Always talking about what that man
Has done for her.
He sits and thinks about the many times
He told her that she can't have no friends.
Sipping on gin and juice
Wondering how the hell, he's gonna deal
With her loving another man.
He prayed for God to send him a woman
He didn't think that God's
Son would be the other man
What I told you about having friends

IV

IV. The Collapse

Everything false loses its music.

IV. The CollapsePage source 104–105

Apocalypse

He can't hear the calls of his mistress
...she can't see the infidelity
We don't understand, the nature of them
We observe the stroke of complicated.
Instrument. playing in tune, a melody
Of complicated lies. with no rhythm of truth.
Smiling faces of captured minds,
Affection on loan, the king has no pants.
Lost in the romance of something old.
While the love of your life, called wife, is feeling blue
Small cities, siblings play, before knowing of their
Kinship
Medicated minds, count on prescribed truths
While he takes two, and calls love in morning
Of wouldn't couldn't loves that never existed
And child is born, and jesus carried on
Pass the pork chop and say hallelujah
Finally eyes opened
But not the eyes you feared
Ears open, waiting for truth to be revealed
While love… waits in misery.
Counting on time.

IV. The CollapsePage source 57–58

I Suppose I Overcharged

If the sun is free energy
I suppose I overcharged
Overexposed visual life,
Staggering feet,
Salt water overflowing
Wet footprints on hot concrete
A human reactor
Water couldn't quench the soul
I sat in cold darkness
They heard something explode
So I'm told
And I lay head back
Wondering why the panic
Eyes opened but no soul
An eye blink for me
5 minutes to them
Body screams for oilcan
The scale is 8lbs off
Skin radiating like hot coal
Thermometer reflects I'm too cold
And I survived
If the sun is free energy
I suppose I overcharged

IV. The CollapsePage source 68

It’s Mental

The pain between east and west
Into pleasure
Collapsing walls
Like abandon salt domes
Trees sink deep
And holes expands
As the sun
Shine across the earth
And rain from the clouds.
Clouded memories
Of pretend loves
Canter like a heartbeat
The rhythm of a forgotten feeling
Of the warmth of another
Pearls spill upon the shore
Just above pleasure
And right below the heart

IV. The CollapsePage source 82

Systematically Falling

I'm systematically falling into a state
Of who knows when and where
Somewhere hiding in the grey
Thoughts of purple leaves
And the those that left us
When the clouds turned
And then there was a fall
Standing alone in winter
Orange suns, burn into my memory
Old thoughts etched in stone
Medusa's kiss, hot hearts
Cold water…. shattered

IV. The CollapsePage source 63–64

My Emotions Have Taken a Vacation

My heart has nothing more to teach me
I hear your words that say I love you
But the feeling never reaches me
I'm feeling,
I'm really not feeling
I'm loving,
I'm really not loving
I go through the motions, empty vessel
Blooming flowers left to burn
My mind practices yoga
But my heart can't find rest
Trying to teach me but I refuse to learn
I'm feeling, Really not feeling
You
Pop a Prozac in the morning
To keep my body calm
I can't laugh or cry because I'm numb
Love me or hate me I don't feel the pain
The love you were giving was driving me insane
I'm feeling,
I'm really not feeling
I'm loving,
I'm really not loving

IV. The CollapsePage source 66–67

It Was Guud

3 words to describe
My introduction to an old addiction
Half-lit moon, quiet streets
To beautiful faces with no names
A quiet moan
Then the apology for going too deep
Love asked how was it
Lust replied it is Good
Nipple biting
Bodies pressed,
Salty bodies
Passionate sex.
Am I hurting you love asked
Aww…it feels good lust replied
Adapting Kama Sutra
To our independent flow
And we both arrived to a moment
Black skin and sticky situations
No names, beautiful faces
Will love meet lust again?
An enjoyed moment, to pass time
When two strangers claim boredom.

IV. The CollapsePage source 71–72

Humanity

Somewhere in time
We have become insane
Yesterday and tomorrow
Seems to matter more
Than right now
We worry about the past
Something we can't change
That is insane
A fool tries to change the unchangeable
We stress about the future
Something that hasn't happened
That is insane
A madmen forsakes today, for tomorrow.
And we allow our NOWs to slip away from us
Now that's really crazy.
We envy the birds
How they cast their cares
But we are afraid to do the same
What a mad world we live in

V

V. The New Beginning

The box opens. The self remembers its light.

V. The New BeginningPage source 39–40

God Is the Supreme Architect

Created man in his image
Man didn't measure up
Though each generation got better
They still didn't measure up
He sent an example, His Son Jesus
Jesus being like a flower in the desert.
The show the world what he was attempting to do
The goal. the standard he is seeking
For God made humanity with free will
So he can't make us do his will
But he can show us that it's good to do it.
So after Jesus, Generation have been getting refined
And defined.
Children born with previous generational knowledge
Until one day, after years of refinement
They discover that they are God
And the desert blooms again.
Some of us are still waking up.
What I know for sure is
That our goal now is to Enjoy life,
Enjoy each moment,
Appreciate what God has created.
God takes pleasure in that.
Smoke ,Drink... live a whole life.
Just don't forget who created you.
If you follow you passion,
Then you are fulfilling your purpose for being here...
Just enjoy it...
And ask God these question in Heaven :)..... better yet
Don't
I'm sure in the end.... it all makes sense.
Like a good movie.
Some have sequels,
Some have cliff hangers and twisted plots. but good
None the less

V. The New BeginningPage source 96

God Is...

In God there is no good or bad
Only Choices,
No right or wrong,
Only experiences
We are extensions
Of God's Creative mind
We were creative enough
To create the restriction of time
Experiencing those things
That life lessons can teach
Understanding your creation
God likeness…
For we are like our creator
And we attempt to define the infinite
With human words
Mountains rest on fingertips
The ocean only skims the surface

V. The New BeginningPage source 98

Our Minds Are Connected

Our physical bodies are what separate us.
Each of us individual humans,
Exist to create and build upon the established
Foundations
Thoughts like a pyramid,
Each generation building on the next
Creating a stairway to heaven.
When all the parts, return to the whole
The many become one.
Each stone dependent on the other
In order to make a whole.
For without the support of our
Brothers and sisters, we are nothing
An empty soul, with no memory, no connection
I am you. You are me, we are one house

V. The New BeginningPage source 99

The World Ended and Was Restored

Eye. we upgraded and resumed life as normal,.... sorry
No change log, guess we have to figure out what is
Different
When we receive a thought in our mind…. then it is
Possible, for the mind can't conceive things that aren't.
Life doesn't imitate art… life is art. and we are the
Creators.

V. The New BeginningPage source 100–101

Foolish Men Inquire of the Dead

Asking how did you die?
Attempting to find the truth in death
Death the creative lie.
I've searched for a melody
In the grey abyss,
World filled with dreams
Thoughts of a scientist
And I'm carried by the breeze
Flowing into the seas of knowing
Back to my island home.
Now I can finally turn the light on.
And this world is so beautiful
Brighter than ever before
I watched the walls tumble aside
Inside … my One-Verse
I'm too happy to be afraid,
I forgot what fear is.
In love, I was born and made
In love, with a new day
I went back to where I belong
I went back to my home
My One-Verse

V. The New BeginningPage source 102

I Am ______

Whatever I want I get,
That's the way it is
When all roads lead to me
Though you may curse me to the gods
Of earth and heaven
You can't escape me.
I'm the cause of your existence
That's right you exist because of me
You chase me like the wind
You pretend to know me
When you don't know yourself
You fight for the right to own me
Yet I can't be yours.
Earth was created and destroyed
In my name.
I'm in the midst of droughts
And pouring rain.
You can't escape me
And I'll never judge you
Because, I created you.
Who am I?
To know me...
Is to know you

V. The New BeginningPage source 106–107

The Bible Is the Cliffnote

It describes, give examples.
And instruction to how to find God.
God is bigger than any book.
Words haven't been created to describe God
God simply is.
There is no place you can go to escape the God
And there is nothing you can do to harm or disappoint God
For God knows, the who what when and whys
To the things that man, doesn't understand.
For man to attempt to capture God in words
Is like an ant attempting to describe the human soul
Everything you have encountered thus far
Is only to prepare you, for Today
What you call pain, and disappointment,
Doesn't even exist.
Only a memory that you refuse to let go of
, when each morning you awaken to a clean slate
A new start. a new moment of knowing
Seeing with your eyes what God is
Hearing with your ears His Voice
Touching God’s creations with fingers
That God designed.
Yet you still wonder, Who and Where is God?
Don't question it. just know it.
For there is no creativity in vain.

V. The New BeginningPage source 62

And There Was Light

I loved you before we had flesh and bone,
When time didn't exist
Two star-crossed lovers sitting in a zone
Of an eternal heavenly bliss,
One day you went away
And I chased you through time
One day I couldn't feel your face
But you're lost inside my mind
I asked the wise men
Told them of the love I seek
They say I would sacrifice my greatness
And live in a human body weak
Many lives, many days
Many loves, cosmic haze
But it was worth it
To be with you.

V. The New BeginningPage source 60–61

Purple Chases Pink

I watch as the purple chases pink
Silhouettes play in the wind
River flowing, hearts singing
Mind wandering, wind blowing
I think about the colors of the night
While they slowly the make themselves known
Velvet night and glitter stars
The night is where I belong
---------------
Two million years ago you weren't ready
You told me then you needed more time
I chased you through the matter
Outer space, inner mind
I longed for you, sitting on the moon
Tossing comets to and fro
I waited for this moment
Without you there is no place to go.
We chose this place and time
I hope you’re ready
To live the love, I have in mind.
I've been ready, hope your ready
Two million years ago was too soon
I had to give you time, to bloom
Into beautiful one I knew you were
Two million years ago.

The box was never the end.

It was the first shape of becoming.

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